Gone Fishin'

Do you like fishing, good stuff, and fireflies? Then this week might be perfect for you. It’s been a while since I posted an illustration, so I hope you enjoy it.

My posts have been a little, let's say dark. They had to be with the subject matter. Life can be sad, unfair, and cruel sometimes. Brothers fall, friends pass away, and people you thought would always be there, leave. It feels like the bad stuff outweighs the good and it's easy to get discouraged. Still, it's important not to stay there. I don't want to stay there. Being sad is a part of life but so is being happy. Even during the worst parts of my life, there has always been something good I could focus on. I wish those good things were bigger and more frequent but that might be a universal human desire. I want to try to focus on the happy parts for this post. So, I am going to tell you some of the good things that have helped me get through the bad stuff. I'll let you know now most of the good stuff in my life is about the people in it (sappy boooo). Maybe looking at the good will help you and me at the same time. 

The reason I named this post “Gone Fishin'” is that the handful of times I have gone fishing they were fun and good experiences. The people, environment, and activity combine into beautiful memories. Maybe I am using fishing to represent all the good things in life. I don’t know, I was an engineer, not a writer. This will be a collection of good memories and people from my life. Now to the good stuff! 

Let’s start with my first best friend outside of my brothers. I met Joey during my first week of kindergarten. He was in first grade, and we were instant best friends. Star Wars marathons, Pokémon, toys, and super smash brothers were just a few of our favorite topics. Every stereotypical childhood activity you can think of I did with Joey. I could still walk at this time, but I was very unsteady. I knew even at a young age that I wouldn’t be walking for long, I would get worse. I wasn’t sad about it was just a fact. And a tangent you know you have Duchenne. It feels like you’re stuck in slow motion or your whole body is moving through molasses (eww sticky). The biggest reason I didn’t feel sad about my situation is that I had more important priorities. My friendship with Joey defined my childhood and it was a great childhood. I’m 33 and still look back at this time with fondness. When life is hard those memories still put a smile on my face.

The summer before 5th grade we moved to New York from Michigan. Just like that, I was the new kid. I didn’t know anyone. I could do a whole post on him, but I will just talk about him briefly here. Mark was and is cool. We drifted apart as we got older. Still that first year in New York when I was dealing with Steroids, a new school, and a borderline abusive aide (a story for another time) Mark let me be a kid a little longer. We would ride wheelchairs (mine and an old one) through the neighborhood. Flying kites off the back of my wheelchair, birthdays and a bunch of other experiences helped to make my transition to a new school not only bearable but filled with good memories. Thanks, Mark, for the “good stuff”.

Now if we fast-forward a few years to one of my defining surgeries. Between 8th and 9th grade I had back fusion and it was life-changing. It took me a long time to feel normal and I owe a lot of my recovery to Chris and Alice. Chris was my aide at school for 9th and 10th grade. My next post will be about him in more detail. I think Chris was one of my best friends in high school. He was charismatic, would quote dumb and dumber, and liked music I never heard of. We played wheelchair soccer and a lot of video games. When I couldn’t feed myself after the surgery Chris fed me so I could eat with my friends. I don’t think I could have gotten through the first few months of 9th grade without him. 

Now for Alice. Most of my physical healing was done by the time I met Alice. There was a friendship hole in my life, and she filled it. When I look back at High School and the people that were my age it was no contest, she was my best friend. Instead of focusing on my body and disease, I focused on her. Now if you read my other posts about Alice, you would know that I would develop feelings of more than friends and would do some extremely embarrassing things. I do think about the bad or embarrassing part of our relationship more than I would care to admit but that is not what I want to focus on. I want to remember the movies we saw, the malls we went to, the small group I would get carried into, and my baptism she went to. There is so much good stuff that brings a smile to my face and that is the stuff I want to bring with me. 

About 6 years after my back surgery, I had another life-changing surgery. It was and is one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. I was in the middle of my college education then suddenly my life and future were in doubt. My lungs stopped working and I needed a Tracheostomy (hole in my throat). When I started going back to school Juliet started working for me. She was quiet for the first couple of months. Then like a switch, we were best friends. My story with Juliet is long and for another time. I just want to say that I would not have graduated without her help or friendship and that will never change. Her help and friendship were the “good stuff”. 

Now let’s talk about my forever best friend, Jacob. I know that because it’s too much work to break in a new best friend. If you want to hear more nice things about him, you can read my post “Friends and the Free Hat”. I will just say this the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for me outside my family is to go to nursing school to continue to be my caregiver. A friendship like I have with Jacob is rare and is the “best stuff”.

College was going differently than I wanted after my trach. It was lonely and I barely had a connection to school outside of class. Friends or any social outlet from just school was nonexistent. That is when I decided to join a fraternity. I was the first person to join my fraternity with my level of disability ever. Now my frat deserves its own post so I will just say one thing about them. They only treated me with kindness and friendship. Anything I needed to feel a part of the fraternity they did. The best decision I made during college after my trach was joining my fraternity. They made me feel like one of the guys and I cherish my time with them. A fraternity can be the “good stuff”.

Last but not least is Megan. I can still write pages about her even after more than a year of knowing her. It’s hard to narrow down the “good stuff”. So, I am going to write until I get tired. There has never been a time when she has been around that I have not wanted more time with her. Have you ever met someone that makes every environment they are in better? I talked about this before, but I was done with everything. I lost a friendship that was very special to me and immediately Megan appeared. I thought I was done with making new friends. I was very wrong. She is kind, hilarious, and empathetic. I try to make people uncomfortable or try to get them to do what I want with my disability powers (I think he might be evil). Can you believe my powers have not once worked on her? She sees me as a whole person (lame…that’s a crip joke). You being you is the “best stuff”.

I wanted to focus on the “good stuff” this week. It’s easy to stop trying and focus on the bad parts. I probably have more reason than most to curse life and reality. So, trust me when I say there is a plethora of good here if you look. I want the people who read this to think about the good times. Focus on whatever your “gone fishin'” moment is. Also, I would like to thank all the people who I didn’t mention in this post. The aides, caretakers, nurses, friends, family, and random people that have helped you have filled my life with more "good stuff" than I deserve. Until next crips and non-crips, I believe in you.