Best/Worst Guy

In case you were wondering I will be posting twice a week until all of my previous content is in one place, this blog. A new introduction will be added to most of my old posts to keep them interesting and maybe give you some new information. I know the last post was not incredibly happy. Believe me, I am not all doom and gloom all the time. I just write what is on my heart love, friendship, loss, hope, death, life, faith, legacy, and many other topics. Sometimes it will be sad enough that I will want to give up and just cry into my pillow. Other times I am filled with enough joy that I can't contain it with the words I write or the pictures I draw. Even if it's heartbreaking I am glad I have the opportunity to share my stories with you. I love you all and please enjoy the rest of the post.

Do you like Kill Bill, fart jokes, and mailboxes? This week I will give you a look at what it’s like to be disabled, specifically the best and worst parts. Being a Crip is not all doom and gloom. Sometimes it’s hilarious, weird, and entertaining. I will try to make this week more lighthearted because I have some heavy ones coming up (emotional terrorist?).

Looking for the best parts of life can be hard when life is actively punching you in the face. I have two coping mechanisms one is to deeply repress my emotions until they pop out in a panic attack at 29 years old (I would not recommend this). The second one might be more useful, humor. A sense of humor has been imperative to my survival for most of my life. One example from when I was in middle school involved inadvertently streaking. You see my school did not have the facilities for me to use the bathroom so, I improvised. The first part went smoothly if you must know. The trouble started when we tried to put my pants on, they would only go up to my knees (gasp!).

The only oasis in the school desert was on the other side of the building, a mat table (changing table). I tied my jacket around my waist and began my trek. I like to pretend the part in The Emperor’s New Groove is happening. When Kronk is smuggling Emperor Kuzco out of the city and starts singing his own theme music out loud (spoilers), imagine it any way you like but I make it to the gym undetected.

My journey was almost complete I thought. I just had to cross the gym and my ass would be covered. Unfortunately, the entire female population of the school was playing volleyball in that gym. As a middle schooler, this was a fate worse than death. I only had one option so I drove my chair as inconspicuously as I could across the gym.

At last, my journey came to an end, I didn’t know a mat table could be beautiful. With my bum covered and my privates private again the bell rang, and I was off to geometry (not as exciting streaking). I wish I could tell you this was the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me but that would be a lie. Even in the worst of times, I have found that humor can make the situation just a little better. I hope you laugh in those situations even when you have no reason to. I hope this made you laugh. Until next time crips and non-crips, I believe in you. Next week I will tell you about my brothers so stay tuned.