A Turtle, Fish and Me/33 and Me

Since no one has read this yet I can say whatever I want. Umm...SHIT! I turned 33 this last Saturday. It was one of the best birthdays I can remember due to my friends and family. It might not seem like a big party to most people just cake, pizza, and going to a bar with a few close people. However, having the people I care about most in the world all under one roof for a few hours was the best present I could ask for. I would like to thank my parents, brothers Brandon and Kenton, and my friends Jacob, Trista, Thomas, Ally, Nick, Aryona, and especially Megan. 

I know I talk about her a lot but she went above and beyond for my birthday. She shouted (didn't really shout) things like if I pee my pants she will pee her pants (never had someone willing to pee their pants for me before). I should probably explain. Drinking makes you pee and I can't do it without help. Luckily mutually assured destruction did not occur. Like most heroines, she came to my rescue and saved me from a urinary disaster. Also, she helped suction mucus out of my neck (gross) saying that's what friends do. Not many friends will do that and I know I am spoiled with a few of these friends. Lastly, she escorted me home like a true gentleman and made sure I was set up. Wait...am I the damsel in this story? Anyway, I definitely don't feel like I deserve the adventures I have been having the last few months. I have the most fun when you are around. You are already incredibly important to me. Please continue to be your cool and a bunch of other adjectives self. Sorry if I created a self-esteem monster, Megan.

No full comic this week just an illustration but I still think it’s funny. I liked it enough to get it printed. In this illustration, I make new characters out of my parents. My dad is the turtle, and my mom is the goldfish. My dad is not the fastest person anymore and before that, he had his own sense of time that would run at least ten minutes slow. I think I have seen him get angry once in my entire life. To me, his personality screams sarcastic turtle in suspenders. Also, I don’t know if this fits here but my dad once said cripple to a room full of his superiors at work. No one with legs that work will question me if I say cripple, that protection doesn’t always apply to the people around me. My dad is fearless sometimes.

That leaves my mom. She has no short-term memory especially when it comes to her phone. On multiple occasions, I have seen her hold her phone and ask, “have you seen my phone?”. Or she will walk out of a room to get something and come back with nothing.  Goldfish are said to have a 5-sec memory even though one of my brothers said that was wrong. The joke still works, and I am keeping it.

Even with my parent's many flaws, I can say confidently I would not be alive without them. I have had a few friends pull me back from hopelessness over the years, some even without knowing (name drop! Jacob, Alice, and Megan). However, the ability to fight impossible odds, to begin with, comes directly from my parents. They have never told me I couldn’t do something because my body is broken. They have said I can’t do things for other reasons (spelling, stubbornness, procrastinating?). My parents have always thought my dreams were possible to become an engineer, be independent, have close friends, live a fulfilling life, and find love (that last one sounds lame). And they have been there when some of those dreams have not come true and picked up the pieces.

In addition to believing in me, my mom does a lot of my care. She is always there for me whether she is sick or has a migraine. I would not recommend my situation to anyone, but most people don’t get to see how much their parents would sacrifice for them. I get to see how much my parents love me in action every day (love is wiping your 33-year-old son’s butt).

My dad has always been an optimist when it comes to my disease. I think he forgets I’m disabled sometimes. To this day he still thinks I might have a treatment in my lifetime. I can’t predict the future so maybe he will be right. This optimism despite crappy circumstances is one of the reasons I have lived so long. Also, it’s one of the reasons I started Crip Guy (other reasons include mid-life crisis, failure, and isolation). If I can help you keep going when everything is telling you to give up that is a success, and you can thank my parents. If that doesn’t work, I hope I at least made you laugh. Until next time crips and non-crips, I believe in you.